Here lately I've found myself swinging back and forth yet feeling like I'm standing still and a bit askew. Stagnating. I've been trying to keep myself involved in so many things and gratefully have done so, but in doing so have run myself into the ground energy wise. I really desire to be fully realized but am still unsure of what in/for or how...I know I want to be in creation. My mind is ramped with ideas. I press down on the pedal with one foot then slam on the breaks with the other. My mind thinks of dollar signs, but why should that impede my creative flow? A friend has recently said I should take a vacation and go to the beach. Take some time off and rest, write a show. I believe he is absolutely correct but I don't have a job so to speak so vacation seems a bit out of sorts. I love what I'm doing and in the process have been able to be of service to other people and express myself creatively. This somehow is not enough. That same friend expressed to me that I should think about who I am and how I want people to perceive me and he is right. For most of my career I've been known as an "A" list dancer in Los Angeles. I was fortunate to have a twenty two year dance career that took me all over the world allowing me to share what I love most with tens if not hundreds of thousands of people. I've seen myself dance on TV and on huge movie screens. I've gotten large sums of money for doing what I love and have been blessed with. For this life I am grateful. I am in the re-invention/continuum of my life. I am developing an intense love of editing and film making. I am yearning to direct. I have a desire to curate. I am surrounded by so many other artists that are wanting and needing to explore-express-reveal themselves and their art. I to want this for myself and for them. The quote "The moment in between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place." by Barbara De Angelis are the words I need to keep in mind at this very moment.
