Grateful in Wonderland

This Tuesday night marked a very important day in my life here in Atlanta. The day I reconnected with myself and dance. I debuted my new class BMOVED. The first lyrical class I've taught. I've been wanting to add classes to my schedule but dealing with physical things and emotional things as well as Koru had kept me stuck. Earlier Tuesday I had been rehearsing a dance I'm making for a group of 30 kids in Norcross at a studio called Footnotes. I was there from 1130am til 330 pm then headed back into town. Since late last week I've been worrying about my new class and trying to focus on what people would want, is the warm up good enough, is the music right, is it...should it be...will it... blah blah blah. Then suddenly it was Tuesday. So here was the day that I had been postponing for months, the day that I needed to trust myself, the day I needed to surrender to the universe. I got to the studio to teach my first class Old School Jazz at 6pm, I love this class cause it is the style I learned and loved when I first moved to L.A. I love dancing hard, fast, and with lots of direction changes. In OSJ I have my regular students that come back every week and I am so grateful to see their faces. I know they want to be there and dance. After class I headed to grab something to eat across the parking lot and as I left I glanced at the sign in sheet for BMOVED and there were 11 people...I thought cool that's allot. I got back about 20minutes later and as I walked past the front desk I noticed that the sheet was full (35) and that they had taken it away so no one else could sign in. What? The amount of people didn't really register with me until I got in the room and at that moment I was overwhelmed with gratitude and nervousness. I looked around the room and saw so many faces that I have seen at various stages of my teaching here in Atlanta. Comforting smiles, accepting eyes, open hearts. I was elated. Humbled. I shared a bit of how I was feeling which helped take the edge off, welcomed everyone to the class and then got started. As I was leading the warm up I closed my eyes and trusted. I took deep breaths of gratitude in and exhaled fear. My skin was tingling with the feeling of movement and with the energy of the others in the room moving in harmony. Several times during the warm up I felt my breath get tight as though my lungs were about to burst, I felt the pressure of tears well up to just bellow my tear ducts as though they were waiting to explode forth but a bit too shy to show their true selves. It was at this moment that I knew I was back home in my body. As the class went on I felt more at ease and as we launched into the combination I trusted again, I allowed for what was to be the experience to form without judgement, I saw the dancers absorbing the movement and allowing their emotions to attach to it and extend into the room, I understood as I have my entire life that I am a dancer. It's what I do, it's who I am and will always be.

Metamorphic dermis...

The blister that I have acquired under my right foot over the past week and a half finally dried and decided to peel off yesterday. The skin underneath is so soft, smooth, and tender. It is very sensitive to the touch yet not painful, the feeling is more like a raw effervescence. I realized today that that is how I feel sometimes. I am in a transitionary place in my life. I am excited, fearful, in wonder, enthusiastic, inspired, hopeful, and grateful. I feel I can see clearer...I don't necessarily mean see with my eyes cause anyone who knows me and who has seen how far I have to extend my arm to read knows better. I mean my spirits vision is more open. It's periphery is wider. My nerve endings more aware. Much like the fresh skin that was being kept moist within the liquid inside the dome of my blister, my senses have been awakened with the removal of the hard worn layer that had grown over them. This layer although protective in one way eventually became an irritant to the fresh layer underneath causing much pain to me. As with most healing processes something must be removed whether physical, emotional, or mental in order for the remaining part to survive and thrive. The peeling of the one layer and exposure of another demonstrates to me how life keeps morphing, growing, moving forward even if it is painful and comes in the form of a blister underneath my right foot.

and then...

Recently I've been faced with making a difficult decision regarding my career. Do I trade myself for financial security or do I follow my heart and feed my soul? I've chosen the latter. I have danced for 36 years of my life so dance defines who I am. I've never had a "normal" job unless you count the 13 days I spent pushing french fries across the counter at McDonald's right out of high school, and then there was the month I worked concessions at the movie theatre at the Beverly Center in L.A. during the first few months of living there. Other than that I've made my living dancing. What a blessing. Many of those years I took for granted because my career came fairly easy to me. I moved to L.A. in 1984 when music video's were huge and all the awards shows were using dancers. I would go to an audition, dance my heart out, book the gig, then move on to the next one. During my career I've had some amazing experiences without even realizing that they were that at the time. Touring with MGM star Mitzi Gaynor was the first gig I got. I grew up watching Mitzi and loving her in movies and there I was touring the US and Canada dancing with her on stage. I was barely out of Alabama. Wow! When I moved to L.A. I wanted to achieve two things...to dance on Solid Gold which did not happen and dance on FAME which did. After three days of 8 hour auditions I was chosen out of 3000 dancers from around the country to be one of 8 core dancers on the show. What? Me, Bubba from Alabama? After that because of a scheduling conflict in jobs I was asked to dance for Jackie Slieght on Starsearch and went on to win 7 shows including the $100,000 Grand Prize as part of Boys Club. Then came the touchstone of my career, the legendary icon Cher. I got invited to an audition by Doriana Sanchez for a video that was being choreographed by Kenny Ortega who Dori was assisting at the time. Got there dressed appropriately in black jeans, black sleeveless shirt and black motorcycle boots. I danced my ass off of course cause Cher was sitting right in front of me and that night after the audition I received a call from Kenny's assistant saying that Cher wanted me to come out to her house in Bel Air to rehearse. What? I mean I grew up watching Sonny and Cher on TV. I arrived at her house the next day and there I was dirty dancing with her in her kitchen. Talk about surreal. That lead to 18 years of dirty dancing with the diva and some of my most fond memories. Just these four jobs were enough to fulfill my wildest dreams when I was in Alabama, considering that I really only realized I wanted to be a professional dancer when I saw Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video and noticed one of the dancers mess up and thought "If I got to dance with Michael Jackson I would never mess up." I never got to dance with MJ but later became friends with that very dancer who messed up Mr. Tony Fields, God rest his soul, he was an amazing dancer and super sweet person. I guess I'm writing all this because at this point in my life when I think back on the work that I've done, the people I've worked with, all the amazing dancers I've danced beside and have seen my choreography on, I do my history a disservice by taking the easy road. I need to use my experience to inspire young dancers to follow their dreams, I need to share my joy of dance with more mature dancers who want to dance just for the love of it, I need to honor my career by continuing to explore myself as an artist, I need to expand my periphery to see myself fully realized in many area's of my existence. I think I thought this was the end but now can see I have many more beginnings before the end. I am grateful for the opportunity that has been given me since I've moved to the A and will carry that experience forward to use in my next days. Life is interesting and then...

2 days with Diva

I can't say enough good things about my experience the past two days working on Drop Dead Diva. Today was shoot day and I arrived to the set at 930am in Peachtree City, which by the way should be moved closer to the freeway exit, I'm just sayin'! We started rehearsal around 10am to perfect the routine we were to shoot later in the day. Tyce Diorio created the flurry of cross hatching, swirling, jumping, pumping that whizzed us dancers through the set which was made to look like an upper scale restaurant. The 8 dancers which included Tyce were dressed as waiters...not from The Varsity but more like Ecco in midtown. Black Eddie Bower stretch jeans, gray H&M dress shirt, charcoal gray tie, black Vans...and a black apron is what the boys wore. So we danced from 10-1130am then waited for the director to come check out what was going on, he loved it so we took a break and by break I mean a nap in my trailer. Yay! We went back to set around 230p to eat lunch then got dressed around 4 to start shooting. When we got to the set it was filled with people posing as patrons of the restaurant, so that gave the room more energy. There were three camera's shooting the entire time plus a steady cam for several of the shots. It's always interesting as a dancer to maneuver around the dolly tracks, boom arms, and the steady cam guy moving around at will with no rehearsal. We must of done the entire routine 50 times so you know I was sweating but surprisingly my underarms did not. I mean for the the people who have worked with me on TV or movie sets before know that I am the sweater of all sweaters and not once did I have pits. It was amazing! Now my face and neck were different stories though...all sweat all the time. At any rate after the 50th time the director came out and said thank you to all of us and that was a wrap. I have to say that the cast (Brooke Elliot, Jackson Hurst, Jaime Ray Newman) and crew of Drop Dead Diva are some class A peeps. So gracious, so supportive, so talented, and with great senses of humor. I can't wait to see how it turned out. Tyce was pleased, the producers were ecstatic and the director was in awe. My body is super sore but my heart and mind are full of gratitude and good memories. I can't thank Tyce enough for the opportunity to once again work on a TV show. It was like being 23 again on the set of FAME. Not sure when the episode airs but will keep an eye out for it.

So I find myself sitting here in front of my computer on the third official day of my vacation and needing to go to bed to get up at 730am to drive to Peachtree City to rehearse for the TV show Drop Dead Diva. I'm excited about working on a TV show but most excited to be working with people from my L.A. life again. Tyce Diorio messaged me the other day on FB asking about dancers and asked if I'd want to dance...immediately followed by "It's easy". Lol. I've known Tyce since we were both on Starsearch many years ago and I appreciate the amendment to the offer, considering I've seen his work many times and know it can be quite rigorous. I'm honored to be working with him. Also coming to town is my dear friend Marlon Palayo who is one of the most amazing dancers in L.A. and perhaps the world. I first met Marlon when I choreographed for Hysterica Dance Company and then had the pleasure of working with him on Cher's Vegas show as well. Talented, humble, and super dooper sweet. Other Atlanta area dancers working on DDD are the one and only Elysandra Q, Joy Spears, and Corey Willis, all of whom are half my age. Oye! what have I gotten myself into.

and now I rest

Koru is over and now I can rest, but notice the time of this entry and you can see that I'm still a night owl. I've taken the week off to recoup some of the sleep I lost while editing, rehearsing, editing, sewing, editing, making lists, and editing. The show was a big success playing to capacity crowds at the 14th St. Playhouse. The dancers did a great job as did the choreographers, staff and crew. I have gotten amazing messages, texts, and even hand written letters expressing beautiful experiences that people had during the process of making and performing Koru. The words written in these touched my heart so much it made my eyes leak. It has always amazed me how dance affects people. Whether watching it or doing it, it can move the human spirit, elevate it, challenge it, excite it... Making this show did all of these things to me but receiving these expressions of emotions on how being involved in Koru affected people sent me to another level of respect of how dance touches. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to create, collaborate, encourage and be inspired.

Long time no blog...

So I've been busy like nobodies bizness for sure. I am approaching the final week of production on Koru which marks my third annual production with dance 101. Can't believe it's been almost three years. Show is coming along...I just finished editing the opening video which I love. As I do editing. This time I'm dabbling in Final Cut Express version and have completed two videos on it with the rest of the stuff on iMovie. I got to know iMovie while on the road with Cher. It really help pass the time from city to city and is a fantastic mode of creative escape. I am accepting work as an editor...FYI. Also for connecting videos I've researched and downloaded some wonderful clips from the early 1900's of dancers and other vaudevillian acts and set them to various tunes of that era. It really ads a nice flavor to the flow. I am also choreographing two pieces for Koru, one a group dance derived from my Old School Jazz class mixed with my Latin Jazz class, the dance is set to a Jethro Tull song and goes into The Salsa Kings "Salsa Brava". My dancers range from mid 20's to mid "not 20's" and are of varying levels. I love my students and love seeing the smiles on their faces when they dance. It's coming together nicely and is lots of fun. My second dance is a contemporary duet set to Thom Yorke's "Atoms for Peace", love it. It shows a relationship growing, healing, rebirth...some fun partnering bits and playful energy. This show has a vast array of dance styles and should be really entertaining. I'm proud of the efforts the students are putting into this production, some of which have never been on stage before. How cool is that?! Lot's of life has been happening to. I've been surrounded by it and trying to keep it at bay without fully rejecting it for I am human and do pay attention to what others are going through. It's difficult to control my compassion, to not give so much energy to it and have none left over for myself. I'm successful for the most part, sometimes, and not at all....in varying degrees. At any rate, I am still breathing, still loving and still dancing.