Feelings are intense. Yesterday I got up and went to a meeting then headed went to lunch with a friend then headed to the studio to watch Kevin's rehearsal for Koru. First of all let me say that Kevin's dance is going to be hot. But what I like most about it is his cast of dancers. They come in all shapes, sizes, gender, ethnicity, experience level...they could not be a more diverse group of people. It is what the studio is about and what the show is about. Yay! Kevin and his A-Town dancers aka know as students at dance 101. From there I headed home for a disco nap and a shower. I had tickets to Trey McIntyre Project and could not wait to see them. When I got to the Rialto I felt uneasy for some reason and then it dawned on me. I was nervous. The 18 dancers that were to be performing in the show had had rehearsal that day I knew that they were ready but I was still nervous. I looked around and they appeared out of every angle of my periphery. All dressed in black as requested and possessing an energy of excitement. I was met with my date's and we proceeded into the theatre. Ran into Bren Herrara, chef extraordinaire and aspiring dancer I found to last night. The lights went down and after the usual theatre announcements the red curtain upend to reveal a female dancer mid stage with the mounds rising up to the sky from her chest. Goldfrapp started playing and with the words "Only clowns would play with those balloons" the dance began. First of all I love Golfrapp and secondly I love that song. The dancer was join by two others a female holding two balloons in her hands and a male with a balloon attached to his head. By the end of the piece that was filled with humor with choreography that was fluid and quirky the dancer with the balloon breasts released her implants into the sky. It was a fun way to end the piece. The second piece was entitled "Ten Pin Episodes" and involved 6 dancers. It began with a solo dancer Jason Hartley slowly dancing around the bowling pin as he also manipulated it. He is a strong dancer with amazing control and focus. He was joined onstage by Brett Perry as they danced side by side as one. I mean they were so in sinc it was as though they were the same person. As the piece went on, one by one the dancers joined the dance. At times they would just walk on and place bowling pins in various places then walk off and others they would stay on and dance. Trey McIntyre has a wonderful way of transitioning from one section of the dance to another seamlessly. Ten Pin Episodes I have to say was not my favorite. Mainly because I am so incredibly drawn to the dancers dancing Trey McIntyre's choreography and want to see that but this piece had long moments of very little movement and I was a bit frustrated waiting to see them dance. A lesson in patience I guess...thank you Mr. McIntyre. Now finally the moment I was really waiting for was coming. After intermission came "Wild Sweet Love", the piece that involved the dance 101 peeps. The music began and I was waiting in anticipation for them to have their first entrance. At the moment they were supposed to enter I was so on the edge of my seat I couldn't stand it. Mind you they were mostly only either walking or running across the stage but some of these folks had never even been on stage. The first entrance went great and with each subsequent entrance they did exactly what we had rehearsed and what had gotten them the title of "best group we've had all tour" by some of the TMP dancers. Then was the one entrance where 9 of the dancers had to stand onstage while one of the TMP dancers did a solo. This dance was set to Roberta Flack singing "Do What You Gotta Do" one of my all time favorites. The choreography was heart wrinching and awkward at times which was juxtapose to the music and worked so well together. The dance 101 dancers were to begin with a lead foot type shuffle downstage and then stand there for most of the solo then at one point when the dancer comes toward them move back into a semi circle and watch her for the rest of the dance. I have to say I got misty eyed. I was in awe of their focus and emotional attachment to the dance while just standing there. They did a great job and I was so proud. After the show I was leaving the theatre and saw Trey McIntyre standing across the lobby. Of course I went over an introduced myself and he to said that our dancers did a fantastic job. I have to say that I was a bit starstruck. First of all he's like 6' 5" so that was one things but I was just drawn into his calming energy.He is a true artist and that is something that I have not been around that much while living in Atlanta and that is one thing that I miss about L.A. I of course awkwardly ask for a picture with him and he graciously obliged. Ran into Rose and Travis outside and noshed at Landmark Diner across the street. Headed home for sleep.

Today I went to an early meeting then to breakfast then headed to the studio before I was to go to a memorial service for a friend of mine who lost her partner to cancer. I got there just in time for the start and sat there looking at my friend and feeling her loss. At one point in the service the woman who was leading invited people to speak about the Jimmie, the woman who passed away. I didn't know her well at all but have met her a couple of times. I was sitting there and my chest was full of pressure. My heart was aching for Ann's loss. I had to speak. I said that I was there in support of Ann and that I hadn't know Jimmie really at all but that what their relationship was had created part of what Ann was and that I cherished. I sat down and my chest was back to normal. I guess the feeling I was feeling was emotion building up pressure and needing release. I didn't make either one of my grandparents funerals nor my great aunt Baby Sis. I've only been to one funeral in my life and that was for a high school friend who killed himself. It's amazing to experience the loss of someone through other peoples expression of love for that person. On the way home I got a call from a friend in L.A. and he said hey I have a special someone who wants to say hi. I said OK not having a clue who it might be but excited to find out. The voice said Hello Bubba? It's Giovanni. OMG Giaovanni!!! This is a man that I haven't heard from in over 15 years whom I fell in love with in Rome when I was over there working on a TV show. Amazing. he sounded the same and my heart melted. I cannot wait to speak to him again when we have more time to talk. So needless to say today was an emotional roller coaster. I was exhausted and came home and took a nap. So like I say emotions are intense and I wouldn't live without them. I was so grateful that I could look into Ann's eyes and have my heart speak to her and I am grateful that life has gotten me back in touch with someone that my heart has felt such intensely for. This weekend is, was, and will be.