All in a week and a day...

Life is interesting. Sounds so cliche' but at times that's all I can say. It amazes be the resilience of people. The self critism that we possess. The ability we have to move through things. The ability we have to get stuck in a rut and be fearful of using our ability to move through things. As I sit here listening to Mae West singing I am aware that I've experienced all of the above in the past week...one of the longest weeks of my life. For no particular reason was it the longest but just felt that way. Could be for the fact that I haven't had a true day off in almost two weeks. In that time as well, I've become aware of two people in my circle that have cancer and dealing with both living with it and dying from it. I remember when I was a kid I knew noone with this disease, it was something that other people had it was so foreign. I guess that's part of life as well. If you live long enough you are bound to have people close to you get diseases. Never knew I'd still be around at 46. Recently I've hear somone say "Im such an idiot". I get it but feel it's sad if people really do feel that way about themselves and when you say it, it's just like someone else saying it. I used to beat up on myself alot and it got me nowhere except for in a deep pit of self pitty. I do much bretter these days without the boxing gloves and a mirror. I've alos seen pople this week after having been in a rut of fear, uncertainty, sadness, who's lives in one day have turned around and given them new perspective and hope. Love that.

Today I had the final rehearsal for the Drum Cafe Atlanta gig and it was a bit frustrating. People late and people not knowing what they are doing. Dressing...undressing. Time constraints. Worry. Crying baby. Pounding drums. It was karazee but just when I took my fists and drew them to my eyes and rub in frustration, fear, anger, confusion...I looked up and saw another take a deep breath with eyes closed and exhale. "Thank god I'm not alone" is what I thought. After that my mood lightened and I moved on in gratitude and the rehearsal ended nicely. Went about my day at work making phone calls, returning emails, researching instructors, contacting dancers for Trey McEntyre Project colaboration, setting rehearsal schedule for that same project, etc. Taught class...Latin Jazz which I love. I think I was born with several drops of latin blood in me although you can't tell with my lilly white complexion. Stayed at the studio and finished up some stuff I was working on. Watched an excerpt from Hysterica Dance Company's last performance "CRUST", odd, alluring, sensual, psychotic...all the things I love and nothing that I did not expect from my loves Kitty McNamee and Ryan Heffington check them out. I truly love dance and sharing that love of dance with other people who love dance. Speaking of dance, more thoughts are coming for Anthology, the show dance/art show curated byt Zerina Serulle and Beth del Nero at studio/ninehundred. My collaboration with Travis Barron will be more art than dance.

Tonight I was going to start editing but I feel the need to rest. So I will. I look forward to tomorrow and what it has in store. I can't believe those words actually come out of my mouth or in this case from the tips of my fingers with nails that need clipping. But they do...and now I go clip and sleep.